If you are planning on having a baby, you are undoubtedly excited. It’s a happy time… until the harsh reality strikes! Your life won’t be the same anymore! Yes, parenthood is not a walk in the park. Important discussions like changing diapers, feeding the baby, cleaning, running errands, taking turns to stay up while the baby throws unexpected fits at night can all seem trivial in the beginning. However, they hold great significance in keeping your sanity intact and preserving your marital bliss post childbirth. Being on the same page as a couple will save you a ton of hassle and, of course, plenty of arguments and fights with each other. Surely, the ride is much smoother if you have the right conversations ahead of time with your partner!
While getting pregnant could have been a matter of chance, the decision to go through with your pregnancy is a responsibility you cannot play with if you are still doubtful of your competence to nurture a kid. Are you prepared to bring a baby to this world? Are your expectations in sync with your partner’s? It is essential to consider these vital questions before you start a family. It will save you countless post-baby battles. Here are a few must-have conversations with your partner that you should consider having before bringing your baby into your life:
1. Should You Have A Baby Now?
拥有一个宝宝会改变你的溃败ines forever. In fact, there is no opportunity to go back and forth once it’s on the way. Here are a few questions to consider: Is “now” the right time to commit to a lifetime responsibility? Did you have a bucket list of things to do before you got pregnant? Have you ticked off most things on your list of to-dos before you add a baby into the mix? Did you finish your formal education? Do you have a job that you are passionate about? Is your relationship steady and strong? Are you at a point in your life where a baby would add to your joy and not turn it upside-down? It’s best to have these clarified before you jump the gun.
2. How Will You Share The Duties And Responsibilities?
More often than not, women are caregivers and household workers by default. This is an age-old stereotype that’s long past its expiry date. Chalk out a plan which works for both of you. If one or both go out for work, what tasks can be shared? Who stays home when the baby is unwell? Who takes the baby for regular doctor check-ups? Who bathes them and changes their clothes? Can you compromise on your sleep? What happens when the babysitter or domestic help does not show up? If these roles are clearly defined, it’s easier to navigate through parenthood together.
3. Do You Have Sufficient Funds To Raise Them?
Parenting can be an oh-so-expensive deal! Add up the costs of taking care of your baby, and you’ll notice the hole it can burn in your pocket. Yes, you might not want to think about these things right now, but finances need to be sorted before your baby’s arrival. Once they are here, the bills will add up, and the money in your account will disappear. Does your cumulative income support the expenses of your child? Will you be able to take care of their school education and college too? What about their extra needs and other things they fancy? It is absolutely essential to plan out your finances and have a contingency plan ready to avoid unnecessary burdens or blame games later.
4. What’s The Best Parenting Style To Adopt?
There are different ways of raising a kid — to each their own. Some parents may adopt the exact style in which they have been parented, while others might stick to the most trending ones on the internet. Some of us may take the best of all worlds and devise our unique parenting style. It’s a personal choice. However, have you as a couple agreed on the same or at least a similar style of parenting? Are you far from being agreeable or have different ideas in mind?
This is crucial to avoid disagreements, tears, and bitterness later when you teach your child important life skills, discipline, and deal with their temper tantrums. Having different preferences does not make you incompatible as a couple. All you need to do is strike the right balance. Look for a parenting style that complements each other’s unique styles but speak about it beforehand to avoid surprises in store later.
5. What Faith Will The Baby Practice?
Religion is a contentious issue, and you should be careful while discussing it with a partner, especially if they do not share the same faith and either or both are touchy about this sensitive matter. Some people change religions and if you thought that things you agreed upon before the baby arrived would be the same forever, think again. Will religion play an important role in raising your baby? Discuss what traditions to follow and how important religion is to you. Do you expect your baby to follow in your footsteps, or will you leave it to their discretion to figure it out later in their adult life? It’s good to have an open mind and teach your baby the tenets of all religions and leave them with the choice of adopting the one they prefer.
Many people don’t realize that having a baby could amplify the sourness already brewing in their marriage. It’s imperative that you sit down with your partner and take quality time out to sort out these issues. You may not realize the gravity of it until the baby is here, and there is utter confusion everywhere if you haven’t discussed important matters with your partner way ahead of time. Worse, it can sink your relationship to the point of no return. What other points can you add to this list of must-have conversations with your partner before having a baby? Do share your thoughts in the comments section below!
