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不孕比你想象的要困难得多,因为parenthood is a dream for most of the couples. Realizing that it’s not going to happen for them even if every other couple around gets pregnant and have children can be heart-breaking. While some people choose not to have children, people who struggle with infertility are forced by fate not to have offsprings. As a third person, you may be really confused about what to say when you meet a couple who have been struggling with infertility. This article will help you understand what you can say and what are the big Nos.
1) Give Them Space
If your friend or cousin has been struggling with infertility, give them space. Don’t poke your nose into every other thing the couple does to fight infertility because clearly, it’s none of your business. We know that you may be trying to talk to them about it because you care. But all they want is some space because the treatment and the emotional trauma can be very exhausting.
2)勒t Them Know You Are There
If you want to talk to them about their problems, try to ask them if they want to share things with you. Let them know that they really don’t have to but you’re going to be there whenever they want to talk. Now, that’s the most supportive thing that you can tell them. If they say that they don’t want to talk about it, DO NOT! Don’t try to ask them indirect questions- they’re not stupid and it will only hurt them.
3) No Free Information
Don’t send them articles and videos related to infertility and how to deal with it; they already know almost everything out there. Sending them articles from random websites will only keep reminding them about their biggest problem in life. They do not want free information as well as advice when all they want is to not think too much about it. They are definitely doing the best they can and unless you’re a doctor or they ask for your advice, try talking to them about other things.
4) Do Not Compare
“This is what my cousin’s friend’s uncle’s daughter did when she couldn’t get pregnant”- nobody wants to listen to that. People who struggle with infertility would have read tons of authentic information and spoken to many doctors. They already know about things and the last thing that they want you to do is to compare their case with someone else’s. Infertility can happen due to many reasons and the cases are very different for different people. Your polite piece of information can only cause harm.
5) Don’t Force Them To Attend Baby Showers
They’re not jealous! You might not be able to imagine the emotional pain when a childless couple has to be a part of a baby shower. Knowing that they are never really going to be in such a place while watching a soon-to-be-parents couple can hurt too bad.
6) Don’t Bring Up Adoption
Don’t really talk about adoption unless they are thinking about it. It’s every couple’s wish to have a baby that is their own flesh and blood. Adoption is never a bad option but let them come up with it on their own. Also, not everyone can afford adoption and your idea might just make them completely hopeless.
7) So What Do You Really Do?
People struggling with infertility already have a lot of pain and trouble to deal with. They may want some cheering up so try to be there for them whenever they want. Try asking them out for movies, shopping, and plan trips. If they want to open up to you, let them- you try to drive on the safer side of the road. Try to take their minds off the grief and let them have fun for a while. Be that best partner in crime that they want you to be.
Sometimes, cheering up may not really work because they aren’t really in a mood to. Make sure you don’t force it on them. Try to be normal with them and be cautious so that you don’t accidentally blurt out things that you may regret saying. It’s simple- don’t be too inquisitive and preachy.
