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Divorce is a powerful and heavy word, capable of silencing smiles and locking happy hearts forever. As hard as it is for couples who promised to stay together till death, it is even more challenging once you have kids in the picture. Whatever the reason is, once you have decided to separate, there is no looking back. The most painful thing is telling your kids about it and hoping and praying they cope with the separation in healthy ways. While divorce makes you single again, it does not make you childless. Once you are a parent, you have rights to your children, and through arrangements made in court, you can meet your kids and give them all your love. Here are a few ways to deal with divorce and ensure your child never feels the absence of a parent.
1. Chase And Pursue Them
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Never give up on your children, no matter how difficult the situation is. Perhaps they’ve relocated to a different state, or your ex is preventing you from visiting them. Write letters, send texts and videos, attend as many events as possible, and urge them to send you photos. Do anything and everything you can to keep in touch.
2. Use Your Time Wisely
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In the majority of divorces, children belong to the mother. However, you may still keep in touch with your children. The children and their father can decide on their time together. Make the most of your time by planning ahead. Do what they like the most. However, give them the freedom to pick what they want to do. Just give them your full attention for the duration of the time you have with them.
3. Your House Should Become Their Home
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Due to your recent eviction, you’ve found a new place to call home. Your children will be perplexed by this. Make them feel at home and appreciated in your new home. Allow them to have their own room. Let them have free rein on the interior design. Your children will like this and feel safe when living with you.
4. Have A Common Passion Or Interest
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Begin learning about the things your children enjoy so that you may join in on the fun! For example, your son may enjoy snowboarding, and your daughter enjoys reading. Decide on a novel to read and discuss as a group. Build a positive relationship with something you’re both interested in.
5. Start From Scratch
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You and your children should begin a new family picture album. Keep your phone or camera close at hand at all times for quick and easy photos. Every weekend, document your activities and the locations you visited using pictures. Then, with their permission, share the images on social media. Remember that you still have a lot to contribute.
6. You Will Always Be A Parent
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You are always their parents, and that is a fact that can never be altered. The destiny of your children depends on your engagement in their lives. Children with parents who are actively involved in their lives are more likely to have good self-control and self-esteem (1). As a result, they have better social and emotional intelligence.
7. Treat Your Ex With Respect
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No matter how deeply you’ve been wounded, you should never refer to your ex-partner in a non-courteous manner. Your children are a part of them, and you cannot separate them from their parents. Make the best of a bad situation by being composed and dignified through it. If you don’t, you endanger your children’s mental health.
8. Maintain A Consistent Approach
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Since you and your ex filed for a divorce, you may have different beliefs. However, agree on how each of you wants to raise the children. Consistency is essential. Having two systems of laws in two homes may cause confusion for your children.
9. Live Nearby If Possible
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It’s okay if you can’t be under the same roof with your children. However, it does not mean you have to change your country altogether. If you want your children to see and meet you every day, locate a home near your children’s schools. They feel reassured when they know their mom or dad is only down one block.
10. Be Sensitive While Introducing New People To The Kids
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Even though it might not cross your mind immediately, you will eventually start meeting new people. However, this might not be well perceived by your kids. They tend to get very possessive and won’t accept a new member readily. Make sure you are attentive and compassionate about their feelings. Also, remember that your teenager is probably paying attention to how you conduct your dating life. Don’t treat others differently than how you’d like them to treat you.
Getting divorced is never easy and often takes a toll on your emotional self. It is hard on the kids, and you often have to wear a fake smile to assure everyone you are okay. However, it is essential to be honest with yourself and your kids. The mantra is, this too shall pass. Keep an open mind and manifest a better tomorrow and a happier family.
