Image: iStock
Mothers are amazing and they are one of the most important people in all of our lives. We probably go to our mothers first, whenever we’re hurt or whenever we have a problem. However, it can’t be very pleasing to deal with a husband who is a mama’s boy. This doesn’t mean that you should try to create a barrier between your husband and his mother. But, it is important to make him understand that there are some new boundaries that have to be made once he is married. So, how do you balance things without creating havoc? These 8 simple things will make things much easier for you:
1) Encourage Him To Make His Own Decisions
Yes, he always consults his mother before making any decisions. This may be okay when it is something regarding the family. But it’s not okay if he consults his mother while deciding where you both should spend your honeymoon. Instead of telling him not to talk to his mother about a particular thing, encourage him to make his own decisions. “So, where do you want to go?”, “which place excites you the most?”, or “what do you think about this holiday plan?”- these are the questions that you should be asking him.
2) Protect Your Personal Issues
Sometimes, no matter what you do, your husband might discuss certain things with his mother that you do not want him to. Tell him that it is not okay to discusses things that are supposed to stay between a husband and wife, with his mother. Talk to him about the boundaries that you have to make as a married couple. Remember that if you’re going to make such rules for his parents, you need to follow them too when it comes to your parents. Make him feel that it’s a collective responsibility as a couple.
3) Get Some Distance
Getting some distance and having some time for you and your husband will help him get used to the married life. Try to make wonderful memories with each other, have fun, talk about your dreams, and most importantly make him feel how special your bond is. Family trips are surely fun and you must go on vacations with his parents and your parents as well. However, they need to respect your personal space and shouldn’t tag along whenever you go out or want to go on a holiday.
4) Bond With Your Mother-In-Law
Mothers-in-law aren’t actually as bad as the ones that you watch on TV. Try to make some conscious effort to bond with your mother in law. Spend time with her in the kitchen and go out shopping with her! Some relaxing time with your mom-in-law in a spa or a massage parlor would be fun too. When you bond with your mother-in-law, she will feel that she got a new daughter and she wouldn’t feel insecure.
5) Actively Involve In Household Activities
Actively involve in household activities and try to make your opinions heard. You may have entered the family later than the rest of the members but now you too are as important as them. Say what you want to watch if it’s a movie night, try to decide what should be cooked for dinner on a special occasion, and interact with all the members in the family.
6) Don’t Be Too Tolerant
If you don’t feel that something is not right and you’ve got your reasons for it, tell them. Do not tolerate in silence when they force you into something or when your husband is doing something without consulting you.
7) Involve Your Parents As Much As His
的确,你都结婚了,现在你住with your husband’s family. It’s obvious that you are spending more time at his house and with his parents than yours. To make things even or at least almost even, make sure that you go meet your family once in a while along with your husband. Give him a chance to bond with your parents and let him see how you do not discuss your personal matters with them even if you love them.
8) Try Not To Pick A Fight For Everything
If you do not like something, react- but don’t overreact. Be mature when you deal with things that concern your husband and his family because these things are very sensitive. If you pick a fight for everything and get too emotional rather than being rational, everyone will dislike you and wouldn’t even get your point!
Have you faced any issues with your husband and his mother’s relationship? What was your way of dealing with the issues that came up? Let us know in the comments section below.
