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After months of eagerly waiting for your little one, the most magical day has finally arrived. Both you and your wife are ecstatic to start this new journey of parenthood. But you notice that your wife is not as thrilled as you. You find her constantly tired, cranky, and on edge most of the time. You hope it’s just a phase and that it will pass. After all, she has given birth to a tiny human, and she might still be hormonal. But are you doing everything you can to help her feel better?
Most often, men are clueless about how they can provide postpartum care to their wives. Especially when it’s your wife who is breastfeeding through the day and night, you live under the false notion that there isn’t much that you can do to give her a little ‘me time.’ You think that the little help you get from your friends and family every once in a while is enough. But if you genuinely want to pitch in and help the mommy feel better, continue reading our post as we bring you a low down of the few things that you can start with:
1. Be There For Her
Her stitches might not have completely healed. Remember, she’s carrying a peri bottle to the loo. She’s bleeding a lot and wearing a maxi pad. Her breasts are engorged and leaking. Her body still hurts from childbirth. She is exhausted and sleep-deprived. She might feel clueless or guilty that she is not doing her best to take care of her baby. Motherhood might not be how she’d hoped for it to be. She might snap at you or pick a fight for no reason. Try to understand where she’s coming from. Set aside your ego, and be there for her emotionally. Even though we like to think moms are superwomen, she is still a human. Give her the reassurance that she needs and stick with her through thick and thin. She will be thankful for the love and care she receives from you.
2. Steer Clear Of Any Body-Shaming
Don’t crack any jokes on how she had put on weight or about her pregnancy scars. She might have been okay with it in the past, but you don’t know the frame of mind she’s in right now. Every snide comment or lame joke could make her feel more insecure about her body and shatter her confidence. If she’s worried about her loose skin, pregnancy paunch, or stretch marks, reassure her by letting her know she still looks beautiful and that it’s normal for her body to change a little; after all, she has brought a new life into this world.
3. Offer Help However You Can
Every little help counts. Right now, it might seem like there’s nothing much you can do to lend a helping hand. But there are plenty of ways you can help her feel more at ease. You can take out the trash, do the dishes, wash the laundry, fold the clothes, and do so much more. If you have a house help or your family to pitch in with the above chores, you can extend help in other ways. Give her a nice foot massage, ask her if she needs a snack while nursing or a pillow to support her back.
4. Take Charge Of Diaper Duties And Nighttime Feedings
Let her get some rest. Pitch in by taking charge of diaper duties. Don’t wait for the mommy to change your baby’s diaper. Be proactive and do the job whenever you get a chance. This will give your wife some time to take a nap or have a long relaxing bath. If your little one starts crying, figure out what’s wrong without relying on your wife to come to the rescue. Tap into your daddy instincts and check if the baby is hungry, needs to be burped, or is sleepy. Nobody learns these things on the go, not even mommy. By being present and taking care of your baby, you will soon be able to identify your baby’s needs. Similarly, take charge of nighttime feedings by asking your wife if she’s comfortable pumping the breast milk beforehand. Both you and your wife can take turns feeding the baby at night. This will ensure that she gets a good night’s rest every other day. It’ll also give you a chance to bond with the baby.
5. Be Patient When It Comes To Getting Intimate
Your wife has undergone a gamut of physical changes. So, be patient and wait until she has completely recovered and is both physically and emotionally ready. Though you might have to hold off on intercourse for a while, you can still plan a romantic night and surprise your partner. Cook a romantic dinner for her or plan a spa day for just the two of you by arranging for someone to take care of your baby for a little while.
Postpartum care is crucial for every mom. Small gestures of love, care, and support can help your wife feel better.
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